4th of July - Independence Day?

Sarah asked me how I felt about the military the other day

This year is the first time the 4th of July has meant anything to me, struck any chord in my being.  I was sad that the army was the only branch represented  (I guess it makes sense; if they had every branch at every parade at every small town in the country, they might run out).  I observed the onlookers, wondering if they understood anything, recognizing how easily (as Americans) we can remove ourselves from what is really happening in the world and simply pick something that is popular and exciting to follow, or be against without having any experience or real knowledge on which to base that decision.  My little brother is training to be a Navy Seal (what does that even mean?).  I went to a Mennonite College (what does that even mean?).  I don't think the military is wrong, I just don't think we use it very well most of the time.

I think there is a lot to be said for a country that claims to be the greatest country in the world.  In essence, they are not so great as they seem.  There is a lot of value and growth in humbly realizing the actual state of Being.  It would make a greater country (any country) if they first would acknowledge their own lack of greatness.

I expected to forget to blog sooner than this so I think I'm doing pretty good.

The latest big updates:

-First farmer's market day two weeks ago (Laporte, IN).  Rocking success, we made 7.50 in the red (after expenses) and celebrated at Backroad Brewery in Laporte.

-The chickens have started laying eggs, but not yet realized that a nesting box is really the safest home for them, not the middle of the driveway.

-Beefsteak (the white, broiler chicken) is no longer with us.  A fox or hawk is our guess.  Probably a hawk; we had a hawk scare last week, tried to get one of the ducks (you'd think they would go for a smaller animal).

-The ducks have a newly installed swimming pool.

-I haven't gotten any further in my book-reading recently.  I think it's mostly that I'm stuck on Madame Bovary and not enjoying it at all, but Sean keeps sending good literature my way.

-I learned to play ukelele.

-I want to be in a rock band, soon

If you write me a letter, I promise to write back, so you should because it's the most reliable way to hear from me.

5032 N 500 E
Rolling Prairie, IN 46371

"how to talk so people listen" is the name of the book on the shelf
what about "how to listen so people talk"?
isn't that what we really need to learn better
i think someone missed the point somewhere and forgot that everyone else wants to be heard as well
one hour down
i miss spending time in libraries, i think i could stay here for hours
and they have coffee
coffee
caffiene
i finally slept well last night because they dog wasn't howling
and the cat wasn't trying to pee in my bed
the chickens were fed
and i don't have to think about doing this by myself anymore
i love love love to plan
it's hard to let go, that's how the wind blows
as i sit on the front porch, sipping mate
watching chickens fail at attempts to jump on top of my car
(how are they so dumb?)
wishing i could be as carefree as my lifestyle
if only my mind were as slow as the listless breeze
in the leaves of the trees
they've grown there for oh so long
time to go home
Ro is calling
and probably my cellphone but i wouldn't know
i left it sitting on the coffee table in the living room

I forgot

I forgot how lovely fog over a mountain range is as a storm is beginning to simmer in the distant sky.

I forgot that sometimes, it's necessary to drive West so you can eventually get to East.

I forgot how many memories this place holds for me (I really do feel that way - the memory holding me, not the other way around).

Being here this time, I forget why I left and consider how easy it would be to simply stay.
Easier than living in Indiana for the summer.
                      Easier than growing
                               Easier than living with people

           Easier than change, transition and compromise


But this is what I want, I think.
              I was never happy with easy.


                                   But I would really be ok with it sometimes.

The latest

100 tomato plants in the ground.

The potatoes are coming up!

And the onions.

The ducks are bigger.

Corn has not yet come up.

Sarah moves out here in two weeks.

My brother might be home in two weeks (I am praying this is true).

Poison Ivy has become an epidemic.

I feel like bugs are crawling on me.
The grey weather is taking a toll on my thinking and Being.

               I love the rain, yes, but I'm getting antsy for what I don't know
                                 maybe it's just being in the same place


           Maybe it's spending last weekend with a bunch of artists.
                       Older than me.
                        People who are struggling
                                         in their spiritual walks,
                                         in their relationships


           And I wonder sometimes if it will ever get easier
                            I am told that it doesn't

                                                                                           How does one make peace with that?

4? May 2011 journal ramblings

Someone said on the wrapper of a Dove chocolate
                  "When two hearts race, both win."

                   I wonder how much she was paid to coin that phrase.
                                   
                              I wonder if he actually believes it

                    I wonder that any relationships actually happen


But we're a lonely people looking for answers

                  bigger than ourselves

But only as big as the boy next door



I know what it is to walk through Art
with Art when it is the only language I can still remember how to speak.
     
              They don't understand.
                               That is fine.

                                              It isn't the point.

                                    It's bigger than yourself if you allow Being to lead

                     Being
                             Be still and know

                                     Be still and
                                             
                                             Be still
       
                                                    Be

                       
          I only now understand what that meant
                                  Did they?

                                        Did they really know about Being?

                         Who told them

         (who told me)

                            Where do we go from here.

Almond with hints of chamomile

If only people lived their lives with as much purpose as a briar patch.  At least a thorn knows what it's supposed to do and executes it to the best of its ability.